yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
