I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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