I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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