I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
