we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I think a kid would responsible me up
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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