I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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