some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
