Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
