Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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