yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
