I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
