it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Randomize