Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
