New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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