I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
