he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
another moral hangover. fuck.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
