i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize