I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Randomize
