I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
