Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
