Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
it glows. i had to have it.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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