Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
