i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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