then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize