im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i dont even know how to be here
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
