I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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