I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
