You're so nebulous sometimes
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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