WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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