He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
