Heybabeimwearingurpanties
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
