Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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