who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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