I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
