He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
