talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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