Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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