So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
did i walk over a car last night?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Dick very happy bro
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
