i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
