im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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