Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
