I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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