I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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