So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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