Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
