"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
