if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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