just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
