i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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