you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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