Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
