I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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