Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
