I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
