I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
