Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
