You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
