Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
