Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
