Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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