just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
