Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
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