when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
