It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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