Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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