I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
