tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
