census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
