remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
