remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
