Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
