i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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