I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
