so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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