It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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