I cockslap morals
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
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