Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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