Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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