Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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